Two cultures intertwine.
Growing up in New York City as the daughter of Latino immigrant parents always led me to question my identity as such.
It is no secret that many first generation Americans feel as if life is a constant tug of war when differing ideals are constantly present. From the liberal American ways to the scrutiny within a Latino household, identities usually either get blurred or lost in this battle to define who you truly are.
Hence why the Latino vote for 2012 is a crucial topic in the news, in your household, and even your neighborhood barber shop. Yet the real question is, do you even consider yourself Latino enough to vote for that person who is not only representing your cause, but also working to make sure our people are finally heard?
Last Wednesday I had the privilege of sitting in front of a panel of intellectual professionals within the realm of politics and media who discussed’s the Latino vote’s importance in the upcoming presidential elections.
Political scientist and president of the National Institute for Latino Policy Angelo Falcon, Eaton Professor of Administrative and Municipal Science Rodrigo O de la Garza, and NBC Latino’s Executive Editor Chris Pena comprised the panel of experts who gathered at Columbia University’s School of Journalism World Room. Mark Hugo Lopez, Associate Director of the Pew Hispanic Center joined us via Skype at the World Room in the School of Journalism of Columbia University.
The panel opened up with a study conducted by the Pew Hispanic Center on identity and if we prefer the term Hispanic or Latino. It was no surprise that the study concluded that they prefer to identify by their family’s country of origin instead of a government mandated label such as Hispanic or Latino. It should also not come as a shock to anyone that Latinos are a diverse bunch and despite our common bond in language, our cultures differ in vast ways.
Needless to say, because of that ingrained pride, we find very little in the American way of life similar to our own. However, that holds ground for Hispanic immigrants, not for United States born Latinos, such as was my case.
Although I grew up in the U.S., my parents made sure that my siblings and I never forgot their native language. Spanish was always spoken at home when directed to the elders, while English was our escape.
My Dominican immigrant parents had a difficult time adjusting to life in the U.S. when they first arrived in the late 1960′s, but they figured a better life for their children was worth the sacrifice. Yet my parents made sure we never forgot our roots.
At an early age we started traveling every summer to the Dominican Republic. We ate mangú con salami at home. We watched telenovelas on Univision every night, and my mother made sure we listened to mass in Spanish every Sunday.
I won’t deny it was fun to learn about my parent’s homeland, but even as a first generation American, I felt like an outsider in school. While I was too busy watching if Rosita would marry Pedro in Cañaveral de Pasiones, my classmates were discussing the last skit of In Living Color. As my friends used to get McDonald’s every other day, I was only allowed Burger King on Sundays, our special treats day and the only time my mom didn’t cook. My peers listened to rap and R&B, while I was memorizing the lyrics to songs by Juan Gabriel or Johnny Ventura. I never felt quite America, but I also didn’t feel as Dominican as I should have.
Then came a decisive moment in my life when my parents decided to move us back to the Dominican Republic for high school. Not only did everyone see me as an outsider, but I felt like one too. I was neither too Dominican and as time went by I stopped being American. Confused by now? You bet!
Afterwards in college my identity was more lost than Noah’s Ark. As a dark skin Latina, I kept getting confused with an African-American. The Caucasian were too afraid to even speak to me for fear of pigmentation rubbing off on them or God knows what. The Latinos, which were mostly Puertoricans, saw me as a nuisance because of our historical animosity. It felt like I was never going to belong to any one group, and as far as being Latina a Spanish sounding last name was all I had to corroborate that.
Dichotomy had become my middle name and by the time I reached adulthood, the confusion only got bigger, until the day I moved out on my own for the first time. I finally explored my beliefs, really dug deep into my parent’s culture and adopted what I found right for me. I also experimented with the American way of life and realized not all of it suited me. Whether it was the constant dating or fast food joints, not all of it was meant for me.
Fast forward to today and I still battle with myself in some occasions on inherent beliefs about certain issues. Whether I am pro-choice and my Latino counterparts are pro-life. If I consider myself a democrat, while others view themselves as republicans. Is my Caribbean spanish good enough for my South American buddies. The questions and self doubts will never end, but it does get easier.
I not only feel connected to my parent’s homeland, but I also enjoy dancing to a buen merengue, drinking Brugal and eating mangú. Simultaneously I listen to neo soul, watch Shameless on Showtime, and don’t mind a martini once in a while. I honestly feel that I have the best of both worlds. Which leads me to the question of identity again. Labels will always be just that, but if you see me walking down the street, instead of saying “she’s Dominican or American or even Dominican-American“, instead just call me by my name, Karina. That’s how I choose to be known.
Pew Hispanic Center study on labels: http://www.pewhispanic.org/2012/04/04/when-labels-dont-fit-hispanics-and-their-views-of-identity/
Related articles
- Latino labels don’t matter (edition.cnn.com)
- Study Finds Hispanics Don’t Want To Be Called Hispanic (washington.cbslocal.com)
- When Labels Don’t Fit: Hispanics and Their Views of Identity (onemorecup.wordpress.com)
- Pew Hispanic Center – Chronicling Latinos Diverse Experiences in a Changing America (policyabcs.wordpress.com)
- Well, This Is Awkward (maxredline.typepad.com)
- There is No Latino Vote (blogher.com)
